Self-awareness is the first step to determining whether your habits help or hinder you. You may already be very clear on which habit is defeating you and needs to be deleted or replaced. Or you may be clueless as to which habit keeps you from getting/living what you want/need.

Big habits, good or bad, are fairly obvious and easy to identify. These habits are so big, they’re literally staring you in the face. Example: paying your bills on time or eating a steady diet of fast food. (Note: addictions that require professional help, such as alcohol or drugs, are not addressed in this blog.)

Suble habits are not so obvious to you, yet they, too, can exert a significant impact on your life. Example: making today’s to-do list manageable and realistic enough that it actually can be accomplished in the same day. You may even have habits that your friends, family or colleagues may notice but that you do not. Example: slipping off to the restroom when it comes time to figure out the restaurant check.

It may be more difficult to identify your more subtle habits. One approach is to start with an area in your life that is working, and one that isn’t working right now. What exactly is working? What exactly is not working? What thought and activity patterns do you bring to both situations? Are there any similarities? If so, why does it work in one case and not the other? Or are you on auto-pilot and apply the same habits to all aspects of your life, whether appropriate or not? As Dr. Phil of television fame is so fond of saying, “How is that working for you?”

Or you can examine a specific belief about yourself that guides your thinking. How was that habit of thinking about yourself formed? How does it play out in your day? Does this belief need to be challenged, and deleted or replaced? Example: if you believe that you aren’t very good at sports, how and why was that belief formed? Does this belief keep you from joining the softball team at work even though you’d welcome the social interaction?

A word about simplicity. It would be an enormous task to identify and catalog your every habit. Focus on one habit that is interfering rather than helping. Trying to change more than one habit at a time is setting yourself up for failure. Remember, it takes great effort to delete or replace a habit. Self-awareness is the first step.

Next Monday, I’ll write about changing habits.