Before you can meet your needs, you should examine the people, places, things and actions in your life that drain away time, energy, emotions and resources away from meeting those needs. This would be anything in your life that you are putting up with, find annoying, getting in the way, or affects your attitude.

Make a list of at least 10 of your energy drainers, annoyances and tolerations that you experience daily or only occasionally. Do not avoid listing someone or someone because you feel that he, she or it cannot be dealt with ~ write down everything. If you have more than 10, write them down too. Truth be told, we all can list a whole more. Don’t forget to write down the source.

Example: energy drainer = waiting in line / source = slow or insufficient number of clerks

In my November newsletter published Saturday, November 1st, I will address dealing with your energy drainers, annoyances and tolerations in a proactive way, and with meeting your needs. You can receive my newsletter and read my newsletter archives by clicking on the button at the top left column of this page and providing your contact information.

We all have needs. They are normal and natural. The trouble comes when we do not acknowledge those needs. Further confusion arises when we are unable to distinguish between a bona fide need and a want/desire.

So what’s the difference? There is no easy, quick answer since wants often disguise themselves as needs. It take a willingness to be honest and soul-searching about this. Here’s a quick checklist.

Needs:

• Are essential to our well-being.
• We feel an intense attraction towards.
• We experience a feeling of relief when filled.

Wants:

• Are unessential to our well-being.
• We feel an intense attraction towards.
• We often do not feel relief when filled or relief for only a short time and then we desire something else.

Here are some examples.

Needs for security – safety, protection, stability, information, clarity, honesty, commitment to meet obligations, financial security, authority.

Needs for intimacy/relationship/connection – be listened to, needed, loved, touched, helped, included, cherished, appreciated, connected to a group, to collaborate and communicate, be connected to something greater than self.

Needs for achievement/attainment – to create, accomplish, strive for, perform, have peace, attain calmness, be busy, be responsible, be perfect, be spiritual.

Wants – usually newer, bigger, better (you fill in the blank-often a material thing including money, possessions, etc)

How do you recognize an unmet need?

• Track your emotions. When you discover patterns of “downer” emotions, you might be on the trail of a need.
• If a need is unmet – often feel frustrated, fearful, disappointed, hurt angry.
• If a need is met – feel pleased, excited, challenged, relieved. Needs are pegged to the core of who we are.

Try writing down your top ten needs. Then narrow it down to your top five.

Next blog – meeting your needs.

The world’s financial crisis makes me stop and take notice of my own personal operating capital. I’m not talking about money, I’m talking about the inner resources that I drawn upon daily. I’m talking about the basis from which I carry out my day, make decisions, plan for the future, treat others, and generally live out my life. Not only am I asking what these resources are, I am asking how do I refill and refresh those resources.

In business, it’s dumb and destructive to ignore a company’s finances. It’s a proven statistic that many new businesses don’t make it because they are under-capitalized. It’s also a proven statistic that without adequate on-going funding, a business is doomed to fail, regardless of the number of years it has been operating. It’s just good business sense to keep an eye on inflow and outflow of cash.

In life, it’s equally dumb and destructive to ignore your own operating capital. Do you take care of your health? your spiritual needs? your intellectual growth? your personal relationships? Do you even know what you need in order to be a fulfilled, self-actualized human being? Do you know the difference between a concrete need and a desire for your life?

I will be writing about differentiating between a need and a want, and identifying your own needs, in next Monday’s blog, October 20th.

A person’s character underlies every decision, every comment, every action a person takes. And nowhere has character been more lacking than in the events that led up to, and the current dealing with, the mortgage debacle and financial crisis that we are now facing in the United States. I’m not about to get on a soap box regarding this matter, enough pundits are doing that ~ I’m more interested in what we can take away and apply to our conduct in life and business.

So what is character? It’s defined by the dictionary as the combination of qualities or features that distinguish one person, group or thing from another; the combined moral or ethical structure of a person or group; moral or ethical strength, integrity, reputation. So our character both defines us and sets us apart.

Our character is based on our belief system ~ and our beliefs are based on truths we have come to acknowledge and accept. The key question is, “Are your beliefs based on a solid foundation or does your ‘truth’ fluctuate with the situation?” The latter used to be called situational ethics, meaning decisions were based on the shifting sands of whatever was deemed to be truth at that moment ~ or should I say what your perception of the truth was. Perception can be faulty.

Faulty or ever-shifting perspective means fluctuating or inconsistent ethics which translate into inconsistent behavior. I call this lack of character.

A person of character is someone whose belief system is rock solid, and who displays a set of characteristics that take others into account and are not based on purely self-centered motives. A person of character is someone who can be counted on to act a certain way.

Can your customers, business associates and strategic networking partners count on the consistency of your character? Are you consistent? congruent? trustworthy? rock solid? or do you shift based on the business discussion-of-the-moment or how desperately you want the deal?

In my October newsletter which posts on October 6th, I will write about creating a personal board of directors to help you walk the walk, talk the talk and more.